Sunday, October 20, 2013

C-H-E-A-T-E-Rs definitely prosper

Erykah Badu had just completed a bluesy rendition of On and On when I finally forced myself to leave her concert early. I had a flight in an hour but almost turned around when Erykah cooed the first line of Tyrone... To distract myself, I pulled out my phone to update Facebook while crossing the street into the parking lot. Either my phone was acting up or internet was super slow because Facebook failed to add my picture of the songstress. Probably due to the high concentration of concert-goers... 

As I turned into the row where my car was parked, I saw a girl standing next to my car. She took a deep breath, loudly blew her hair out of her face and bent down to my passenger window as if inspecting something closely. Completely puzzled, I walked around the back of the car to watch her finish keying a giant R into the door. 

"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing!"

(I sincerely apologize for the f-bomb but it's what I said) 

The young girl jumped back with a coin still between her index finger and thumb. "He cheated on me! I just saw him making out with some slut at the concert." she said angrily. I didn't understand what she meant until I looked back at the car and saw the capitalized letters C-H-E-A-T-E-R newly etched into the side of the car. 

I silently stared in complete shock when I noticed my half marathon medal and gold ribbon hanging above the dashboard. 

"But that's my car..." I said unsteadily. And then we looked at each other fully comprehending what I had just said. 

"That's MY car!" I yelled. Clearly, I was now livid. 

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Teddy has the same car!" She cried out while her hands cupped both sides of her face. And then she turned around, picked up a brown leather purse and ran around the front of the car. "I'm SO sorry!" the girl yelled while sprinting towards the parking lot exit. 

I thought about chasing and momentarily visualized myself tackling her to the ground. But I had no idea what to say or do when I caught up to her. It definitely wasn't worth it and I had a flight to catch. Instead, I walked around the car to ensure there weren't any other surprises and headed to the airport. 

Moral of the story: If you catch your man/woman cheating and you decide to exact 'Waiting To Exhale-esque' revenge, at least ensure it belongs to them. Because next time, I will tackle you to the ground. And then break your shit. 

Lastly, shout out to Teddy. The cheating bastard is the true winner. Got to suck face with some other girl at an Erykah Badu concert and his car wasn't vandalized. Haha! 

1 comment:

  1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This. Story. Is. The. Best. I seriously would have paid to been there with you.