The One About Being Partially Right...

As my younger brother reached out and gently touched his wife’s baby bump, my other brother, sister and I sat across from each other eagerly awaiting the announcement of the baby’s gender. I knew that my younger brother wanted a daughter to complete his family now that he’d had his son. But to be completely honest, I wanted another boy. Not that it was up to me… haha.

As the Cheesecake Factory waitress brought over a third basket of wheat bread and butter (don't judge us...), my brother polled our guesses on his baby's gender. My sister guessed a female. I guessed a male. My brother knew already and didn't guess... And I was right! I was going to have another nephew! Except I wasn't entirely right... Turns out, my brother is having twin boys! And just like that, his family now grew to five. That will now make five Fonoti grandchildren including my two nieces. We're expanding! haha.

Of course, I'm over the moon about these latest events. And yet, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have a twin. Imagine if I had one! We'd be unstoppable! hahaha. I'm so excited for this next generation. An entire world awaits them. I just need to start adding to this generation. The twins will need younger cousins to watch over... haha.

The One About Ray...

I knew it was only a matter of time... I mean, I knew it would eventually happen... Just thought it'd surface as an issue when I was 60 and could pass it off as a result of metal dementia...

Last night, I went out with some friends to Poplar Pub - a hipster bar known to attract an eclectic mix of people. Think of your high school cafeteria and add three bars, pool tables and a secluded patio. While shooting the breeze under the warmth of a heating lamp in this patio, I was totally taken aback when I heard a couple voices calling out for Ray.

Nothing weird, right? Except they're calling out to me. I'm Ray.

In 2008, I interviewed with a manager at an investment bank. She struggled with my first name and asked to use my middle name - Ray. I agreed immediately as I was more concerned with getting the job. At that time, I would have answered to any name if it meant being hired. Almost three years later, Ray has developed a number of great relationships with people in various parts of the world. Only problem is... None of my non-work friends know about Ray. I don't know how it was never brought it up... Alright, that's a lie. haha. I was worried about the perception of me selling out to the Man and the implication that I am embarrassed of my first name.

Back at the Poplar patio, I jumped out of my seat and rushed over to say hi to my coworkers. We chatted and after promising to see them later, I came back to some very confusing looks. I'll skip the incredibly awkward conversation. But it was interesting to find out that it's not really a big deal to find out your friend has a "professional name". If you think about it, I'm now in the same company as Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker and Hannah Montana... (thanks Phil Dumphy)

Yes, my friends were very cool about it. They were much more receptive than my family who used to call my work phone and laugh hysterically after I answered, Hi - this is Ray... But it's one more thing that my friends know about me. I wonder when they'll find out I have a blog... haha.

The One About 2010...

The Holidays passed by like a Tazmanian Devil-esque blur. I spent Christmas Eve hanging out with 3 different families before jet setting to St Louis for an amazing dinner and great seats to a 49er smack down by the Rams. Next year, Frisco!

New Years was even more of a haze. I munched on Bongos while watching re-runs of my favorite tv shows before being persuaded to hit up a downtown spot. We only just arrived at the entrance of Club Hotel when bright fireworks lit up the snowy sky indicating the arrival of 2011. Fast-forward a couple hours and I'm peeling a sick girl off of my bathroom floor and cursing her intoxicated male friend for accidentally breaking the handle of my screen door. Great times...

One day later, I'm headed to Miami for the Orange bowl and spend invaluable time getting to know my cousin, Kassie and her family. I'm most inspired by this couple's incredible drive. Kassie recently launched her own photography business and is intent on forging a self-sustaining career. Her husband is doing the same in sports.

I started 2010 (and this blog) with the idea of better understanding myself. What I have come to learn is that I spent a significant amount of time waiting for something great to happen to me. For something (or someone) to somehow reposition me in this new fabulous life that I was meant to live - perhaps an even better career opportunity or an unbelievably attractive family of my own. I recently learned two crucial lessons in 2010: 1) I must earn a trip to Oz 2) The yellow brick road is a difficult undertaking. Somehow, I've been unfairly blessed/lucky with fortunate incidents thus far. It's time I roll up my sleeves and really begin toiling.

And as my (27th) birthday begins, I just want to thank my parents for their infinite love. Kassie's husband asked me what I would buy if I won Florida's $34 million lottery jackpot. My first thought was to spoil my parents with outlandish gifts. Unfortunately, even that wouldn't compare to what they've given me and my siblings. Alofa atu Mom and Dad.

The One About the 2 W's...

Greetings from America's windy city - Seattle!


After a full day of wandering the hilly streets of the University of Washington area, I'm back in my sister's cozy apartment incredibly full and slightly congested... I'm in need of a great weekend and nothing reenergizes me like family. Two things have been on my mind lately: 1) Work 2) Weight


1) The firm recently announced annual promotions and I decided to work my tail off so I'm the lucky recipient of a new title and pay raise next year. And while I'm willing to put in the 60+ hours/week to get ahead, I'm anxious about the significant opportunity cost: social/active life. Sounds trivial, right? I thought so too... Except I was free last weekend and could only think of two friends (not related to me) that I still somewhat keep in touch with. I ended up catching up on tv shows on hulu/DVR instead... My dvr never complains about my lack of attentiveness... haha. But the question remains, how important is work-life balance at this stage of my life?

2) I started going to the gym last week. It's fairly obvious that I gained 20+ lbs... And while I've been relying on my broad shoulders and great height to hide this weight, I really need to eat better and incorporate Uli's exercise regimen. He's in great shape (good) but knows it (not good haha).... But I am more resolved after weighing myself on the gym scale - a balance beam type medical scale I've used at various hospitals. I stepped on and exhaled as much air as possible hoping to lose a pound or so. As I set the bottom notch to 250 (TMI, I know...) and began pushing the top notch to my usual weight area (without breathing...), the balance did not move. So I nudged the top notch another 5 lbs, and the balance remained still. Beginning to panic (still without new oxygen), I finally nudged it another 10 lbs before the balance began evening out. As I gasped for air, I recalled every over-indulgent meal this summer including the large Papa Johns pizza I polished off the night before...

So that's what I'm dealing with... (awkward transition, I know...) But I'm excited for the holidays. Not entirely sure about my plans yet. But I am definitely going to Miami on Jan 1st for the Orange Bowl on Jan 3rd. Until then, you can find me at work and Planet Fitness until the gym scale, new indicator of my life, balances out.

The One About Thankgiving...

Thanksgiving is over. Halleluia!!! Since I moved to Salt Lake City two years ago, Thanksgiving has been more about surviving than celebrating. In ‘08, my sleep deprived self had no choice but to dominate other Black Friday shoppers (reminiscent of Shaq circa 1999 when everyone joined the ‘Fakers’ bandwagon…) in order to walk/run away with a 48-inch Samsung LCD flat-screen tv. I still feel bad for the littered bodies leading to the Walmart cash register... haha.

Last year, I came home from a Thanksgiving dinner only to discover the front door wide open. My Wii, Apple laptop and hard earned Samsung tv were stolen. Damn you, Karma! To make matters worse, SLC police and I were bested by a mastermind thief. After dusting my living room for an hour, the police could not discern a single print or clue. Ugh - even my own detective skills developed after reading the entire Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew series as a child failed me. I thought we'd at least find a shoe print or hair follicle... haha.

This year, my mom and sister Rochelle flew in for the holiday. Along with both brothers (and Uli's family) we almost had the entire family together - a rare feat for a family of seven living in four different cities. And boy did we relish every second of this past weekend. Highlights include:

FOOD - Thanksgiving Lunch! Cocoa Rice (Samoan dessert) for midnight snack! Trifle! With my sister's cooking on point, I need to get on a(nother) diet asap.

BONDING - We talked and laughed about everything. And nothing brings people together like shopping in Park City till 4:30am. That includes an hour spent looking for my sister...

I truly enjoyed this Thanksgiving weekend and am extremely grateful for my family. We have such a deep-rooted history that has bound us to each other. And we're learning about each as adults now. This is a new experience for us. As my mom and sister return back to Samoa and Seattle, I can't wait to see them again in February.

Until then, I still have a large bowl of leftover potato salad to eat - reminder of a thanksgiving I survived and thoroughly enjoyed. Take care, fam.

The One About the Over Protective Cousin...

I grew tired of waiting for my cousin and stomped upstairs to my room. It was almost 1:00am and I desperately needed to sleep. It didn't help that my coworkers recently confused my bloodshot eyes and lackluster energy as symptoms of substance abuse. Sure stereotype the brown guy, mofos... But my irritation quickly subsided when I looked out of my bedroom window. Under the shadows of my Fir tree (It's not a Fir but I pretend it is...), I saw my younger female cousin making out with her "male friend". Thank goodness for the street lamp outside my window!

I honestly didn't know what to do. I considered running out of my house brandishing a shovel... But it was so cold! And I would probably have to look for my slip-on blue Chucks first... But then again, she is 22 years old and technically an adult. What right did I have to bust in on her life? I looked again and saw him maneuvering her onto the hood of his minivan (yes, minivan!?!). I didn't care anymore. I slid my rusty window open and yelled out, "Hey! That's enough! Come inside NOW."

We spent another hour discussing why she shouldn't be alone with him. She mentioned seeing him again the next night. I countered that the Devil would be joining them. Way harsh, Tai... (Clueless anyone?) But I'm looking out for her best interests. I hope this isn't indicative of the stress I'll feel as a father... Because next time, the shovel and I will be ready.

The One About London...

After five days in London, it's great to be back in Salt Lake City. Actually, it's not that great because I have decided to move from Salt Lake City... haha whoa spoiler alert! But my trip was truly that inspiring. As mentioned in an earlier blog, my cousin's husband plays for the 49ers - which scheduled one of their season games in London. I was asked to accompany my cousin as it was her first time to Europe. In exchange for my time, I would be compensated with my own room at the same 5-star hotel as the 49ers. Seriously, Universe!?!

After arriving to Heathrow Airport, Tumua and I ate up Central London like hungry orphans. We sampled crepes near the London Eye, studied the beautiful facade at Westminster Abbey, watched the (albeit awkward) changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, took a break at Trafalgar Square but re-energized after some shopping in Picadilly Circus. Include a late dinner with my cousin and her husband at the JW Marriott steakhouse, we readily retired to bed waking up the next day at 11:30am. Holy jet lag! And instead of painting the town red (again), Tumua and I met up and lazed around till dinner catching up on our respective lives. And I learned something new about my cousin: the inherent difficulty of being a football wife. You try raising three children while being married to an NFL player. That's one unpredictable variable.

Our remaining time in London was a blur of great laughs and a reunion with a city I am in love with. Highlights include:

"I'm having an ah-mazing time here in lahn-dohn"
- Isaac practicing his british accent at a fan rally in Trafalgar Square

"This side yell 'Kamete Kamete' and this side will yell 'Kaura Kaura'"
- Isaac teaching fans the All Blacks haka before freestyling maori-esque moves during their chant

"Troy Smith is a great guy"
- 49er rookie Mike Iupati's nervous answer to the question, how do you like blocking for Troy Smith?

"Before trying any more restaurants, we should ask if they have taste buds first"
- Tumua's response to a dining recommendation after bad initial experiences at local restaurants

Lastly, I realized that it's time to move! Unsure as to a specific destination but I'm giving myself 18 months to find a new place. And London is definitely in the mix... Any suggestions?